2012 Televised

Farewell, 2012. Here’s what I watched, for better or worse. Let’s dig in!

BEST DRAMA: Mad Men

After a lengthy absence, everyone from Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce was back in full force. I don’t know if I’d go so far as to label Season 5 as the best of this outstanding series (I often go between Seasons 2 and 4 depending on the day), but this was indeed an amazing collection of moments as our characters hurtle closer towards the denouement that will be 1970. From “Zou Bisou Bisou” to Lane and Pete exchanging punches in the conference room, from acid trips to Hare Krishnas, from the prostitution of Joan to the suicide of Lane, each episode had the impact of a Ben Hargrove (or should I say Dave Algonquin) short story.

BEST DATE: Louie and Liz – Louie

Talk about acid trips! This was a Woody Allen filmscape turned inside out and upside down. Rooftops (from which I really wanted Liz to jump), dressing rooms, and can we all just take a moment and revel in the orgasmic splendor that was the detour to Russ & Daughters? It was never going to end well (as later episodes showed, maybe?), but what a night in Manhattan that I never wanted to end.

WORST USE OF A CLIFFHANGER: NCIS

Now I love me the escapades of Gibbs and his team, and I was on the edge of my seat during Season 9’s finale. But when the show returned, a summer’s worth of momentum evaporated in five minutes. Here’s the thing. Everyone knew that all of the actors negotiated new deals, so no one was going the way of Sasha Alexander’s Kate or Lauren Holly’s Jenny. But spread the revelations out a little bit! Bang! Ducky’s fine and Jimmy’s right there with him. Boom! Abby and Gibbs make it out of her lab with just a few bumps and bruises. Blammo! Ziva and Tony are killing time in the elevator, and she’s able to get a cell phone signal and speak to her father in Israel! And that piece of glass in McGee’s side? He’s fine after the commercial break. Don’t get me wrong. Season 10 is going strong with “Phoenix,” “Gone,” and “You Better Watch Out” among the highlights. But this was a waste of suspense on par with the Moldavian Massacre fallout.

BEST CHARACTER: Hannah Horvath – Girls

Played to utter perfection by series creator Lena Dunham, aspiring writer Hannah is without question “a voice of a generation.” Smart and funny but also self-absorbed and lazy, everyone has either been or known a Hannah at some point in their lives. She’s both the cool kid you want to hang with and the needy relative you desperately avoid. I can’t say I approved of every move she made in the show’s spectacular first season (weird as Adam is, she did him wrong by agreeing to move in with Elijah), but I understood that Hannah is driven by both fear and desire (like most of us). She is the most complex and the most compelling character to emerge this year, and I’m longing for January to see what she does next.

BEST EXAMPLE OF “EVERYTHING CONNECTS”: Boardwalk Empire

It’s more than a bit of throwaway dialogue from Lansky to Luciano. Boardwalk Empire faced a monumental task. Would the show work without Michael Pitt’s Jimmy? Admittedly, things got off to a slow start. Despite an awesome final ten minutes that had me longing for the next episode, the show still produced one of the most boring hours of television all year. But in the home stretch, wow! Eddie’s shooting tied into Chalky’s paltry narrative when his almost son-in-law, Samuel, is the only doctor available. Margaret’s quest to bring prenatal rights to AC paves the way for her to abort the late Owen’s child. And the strained relationship between Nucky and Rothstein allows Capone (and, probably, Van Alden) to stake their own claim to the boardwalk. Just great storytelling that fills one with hope and anticipation for Season 4.

WORST STUNT CASTING: Christopher Meloni – True Blood

So I pretty much stayed clear of these vampires and werewolves in the Bayou, but the announcement that Stabler was joining the cast sucked me right in. And I’ll admit, as crazy and overcrowded as Bon Temps is, the show gets to you, and I’ll be watching again next season. Still, Meloni was utterly wasted as vampire Guardian Roman. Why cast him if he’s only there to bide time until Denis O’Hare’s Russell steps to center stage as the most sadistic vamp going? I’m sticking with the show, but what a waste of a tremendous actor.

BEST COUPLE: Leslie and Ben – Parks and Recreation

Despite the conclusion of Leslie’s successful campaign for councilwoman and Ben’s gig in D.C., they found their way back to one another to build a life in Pawnee. Can we just stop and marvel at the proposal in their new house, a moment that Leslie wants to freeze in time to remember for always? I dare say that nothing was more romantic all year. Without question, this couple will defy the sitcom odds. They’re together, they’re happy, and there is no threat of the magic fading. From Leslie’s attempt to join their families with her unity quilt, to their encounters with a hated Eagleton architect, to a gift from Ben to Leslie in the form of VP Joe Biden himself, each and every note was exquisite.

WORST SECOND ACT: Homeland

A bit of a cheat on my part. I still have to watch the last five episodes of Season 2. But there’s a reason the going’s been so slow. After a freshman season showered in deserving accolades that took the characters to the point of no return, this show has backpedaled to the point of absurdity. From post-shock treatment Carrie being sent to Beirut (and conveniently finding Brody’s damning confessional tape) to the afore-mentioned Brody sitting in on video feed of Abu Nazir’s near destruction only to be granted the opportunity to text his former captor of the impending danger, this is one twisted pretzel of a mess. While the performances are still strong (and Carrie interrogating Brody was all kinds of amazing), Homeland seems to have found its voice at the expense of the audience that adored it in the first place.

BEST COMEDY: 30 Rock

Season 6 and the bulk of Season 7 will stand as one of strongest final bows of any sitcom ever. Liz became The Joker and wed as Princess Leia, Jack and Avery said goodbye after he fell for her mom and made a TV movie out of their whole affair, Tracy took steps towards respectability and becoming his own version of Tyler Perry, and Jenna and Paul tried a “sexual walkabout” before making their way to the altar. They slammed The Wiggles, featured Jon Hamm in blackface, and sent Elaine Stritch’s Colleen to her final resting place in hysterical style. I’ll really miss this show, but it’s going out on top.

…and

BEST TRIBUTE: “One Moore Episode” – Portlandia

Yeah. I’ve would’ve risked my job and utility service to continue watching Battlestar. An eager James Callis (“but you need to listen to me!”), a disgusted Edward James Olmos (“I command because I have the discipline to command!”), and a clueless Ron Moore (“flying the freak all over the place” ), set this geek girl’s heart on fire. The Doctor Who shout out was the icing on the cake, but “Be careful. Psychologically. It’s television.”

Bring it on, 2013!

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Top TV Couples

While it’s not the As the World Turns countdown(s) we promised (coming soon! really!), let’s take a moment to look at some memorable TV couples through the years. In alphabetical order (clips abound!):

As Time Goes By – Jean and Lionel: Separated for nearly 40 years, this couple reunited to show viewers that romance knows no age.

Honorable Mention – Judith and Alistair: It took Jean’s daughter and Lionel’s publisher nearly the entire run of the show to get it right, but taking a page from their elders they proved it’s better late than never.

Battlestar Galactica – Helo and Athena: Would you betray your entire race or undermine an arguably just genocide in the name of love? Probably not, but they did and became the couple who might have most deserved their happy ending.

Honorable Mention – Roslin and Adama: By contrast, their time together was much too brief. Still, it’s not every woman who inspires her lover to build a shrine to her after she’s gone. And it’s not every man who keeps watch.

Frasier – Niles and Daphne: Any fears that the union of Frasier’s little brother and his father’s physical therapist would hurt the long running show were completely unfounded and led to some of the series’ sweetest moments.

General Hospital – Robert and Holly: The current writing regime has all but destroyed this once classic couple who defied soap opera conventions and kept it smart, sexy, and sweet even after they’d exchanged rings.

Honorable Mention – Luke and Laura: Maybe not my Number One, but pretty damn close.

The Honeymooners – Ralph and Alice: He bellowed, she gave it right back. But at the end of the day they affirmed their love, and all was right with the world.

How I Met Your Mother – Lily and Marshall: Impossibly devoted and perfectly suited, you can see why knowing them spurs protagonist Ted to want a picture perfect happily ever after.

The Office – Jim and Pam: He knew he wanted to marry her from the second they met. It took her a little bit longer to come around. But new parents Jim and Pam are the TV pair that puts most big screen Rom-Coms to shame.

Honorable Mention – Andy and Erin: Maybe not yet at the same level as Michael and Holly or even Dwight and Angela, but their goofy chemistry is one of Dunder Mifflin’s highlights.

Scrubs – Turk and Carla: The cocky surgeon and the no-nonsense nurse made beautiful music together (and not just in this scene).

Honorable Mention – Cox and Jordan: The best example that making it legal isn’t always the route to making it last forever.

The Simpsons – Homer and Marge: Who cares if they’re cartoons? These two put up with all manner of craziness from one another, raise a family, and always find time to show how much they care.

Who are some of your favorites?

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: And they have a PLAN

Sunday night saw the premiere of the companion piece Battlestar Galactica: The Plan. Nowhere near as mind blowing as the series finale proper (and probably completely confusing to anyone unfamiliar with the BSG universe), the film worked on a few levels. The most obvious strength was Dean Stockwell’s performance(s) as the two Cavils. While the arc of Caprica Cavil among Anders’ resistance fighters could have gone further to show his realization that it is from love that any race derives true power, the contrast with the forever angry and bitter Galactica Cavil aided the point. I’ll give the BSG team props for one more “whoa!” moment: Cavil’s murder of the child John. Smart choice to recycle Cavil’s monologue from “No Exit” about wanting to be more than human as he and his brother were air locked; it took on a new meaning the second time around. What was first a temper tantrum about transcending the limits of human form became an ironic premonition that the character was doomed to never be “so much more” because of his inability to connect with other beings.

Most of the film stemmed from this notion that love is what makes us weak yet also empowers whether through a newly introduced Simon model (about time they did something with this character! better late than never!) swayed from continuing the genocide by his love for a human and her young daughter or Leoben smitten with the sound of Kara Thrace’s voice or Shelly Godfrey unable to discredit Gaius Baltar. The newly invented finale to the Godfrey/Baltar conflict, so brilliantly introduced in Season One’s “Six Degrees of Separation,” was too tidy. I just didn’t buy that this Six suddenly felt the same emotions so often attributed to her sister, Caprica, and would essentially out herself for setting Baltar up before Cavil sacrificed her. I preferred the theory, especially in the wake of the finale, that Shelly Godfrey was one in another line of angels sent to pave the way for Baltar’s ultimate spiritual awakening. Leoben unmasked, not so much a seer but rather a spy who followed Starbuck’s journey via radio and filled in the blanks once her prisoner, put a new spin on the character, con artist first and mystic second. As for the Eights, only Boomer was in focus, and I was not a fan of the rewritten history that allowed Cavil to tap into her true nature with the use of an animal figurine. It didn’t betray Boomer’s arc from Season One, but it diluted it. To believe, if only for a few stolen moments, that Boomer knew what she was and what she was engineered to do takes away some of her terrified confusion from those early days of the series. Back to Simon (who also appeared as the doctor from “The Farm” in the Caprica section of the film), the idea that he was the anti-Boomer in those first days after the fall of the colonies, that he knew what he was but no longer had any desire to aid the Cylons (and probably left the note for Adama about the number of Cylon models in a futile attempt to help) is such an intriguing idea. Can someone who helps engineer a holocaust be redeemed if he works for the good of the survivors? Just the suggestion of what Rick Worthy could have brought to the table if given more screen time is a lost opportunity for the series as a whole. True, Simon does not appear until Season Two but neither did D’Anna, or Cavil for that matter, and viewers bought into the notion that they were in the shadows the entire time. Same thing would have worked with Simon.

The Caprica storyline provided most of the action, and Michael Trucco gave a strong performance as Anders (especially in a late scene with Cavil set to Bear McCreary’s “Something Dark Is Coming”). But nothing new was revealed about the character. Still, Anders and, to a lesser extent, Tyrol were at least given beats to play. Sadly, Tigh, Ellen, and Tory were glorified extras. I realize that the point was to show us the “original” Cylons’ long promised plan, and it was somehow fitting to learn that they were making it up as they went along, but I wanted more insight into the Final Five, notably Ellen.

Criticisms aside, I enjoyed The Plan. It was fun to spend another few hours in Galactica’s corridors with these actors and their characters, grand-for-TV special effects, and McCreary’s inspired music. But as far as revisiting an area of the series from the Cylon perspective, I would have gone with the New Caprica arc. Now there are already scenes from those third season episodes with various Cylons as a twisted cabinet of sorts aboard Baltar’s Colonial One, but to have seen more terror, anger, and confusion in the face of the suicide bombers while Galactica Cavil and Caprica Cavil had a lengthier debate on that playing field could have sown the seeds for the Cylon civil war and allowed for exploration of the Final Five, all present on New Caprica. There must be enough stock footage from the first episodes of Season Three and “Unfinished Business” and the Jammer-centric webisodes to recreate the feel of New Caprica without reconstructing the set, and existing footage of Starbuck, Baltar, D’Anna, etc. could be used as in The Plan. Another movie with these characters at this point in what is becoming an epic story seems unlikely, but stay tuned for Caprica, premiering January 22 on SyFy and the long-awaited clues and brand new mysteries destined to spring forth.

Telephoria’s Favorites: 2009

In honor of Futon Critic’s annual best of list, Telephoria weighs in with a few favorites. Spoilers abound!

CRIMINAL MINDS – “100”

My guilty pleasure as far as procedurals go (and particularly addictive in rerun blocks on A&E and ION Television), this episode, the crime drama’s one hundredth (hence the title) brought to a head the BAU’s search for serial killer George Foyet a.k.a. “The Reaper.” As the team recounted recent events to their supervisors, flashbacks revealed how Foyet ultimately located Aaron Hotchner’s ex-wife and son. Each member of the team told their part of the story, and it was pretty clear that none of their lives were about to end. But after a fast paced chase to Hotch’s former home, Foyet did claim a final victim: Hayley Hotchner. While never a major character, Hotch’s wife was a presence from the pilot, and her demise gave actor Thomas Gibson a chance to play rage (when beating Foyet to death), tenderness (when reuniting with his young son), and anguish (when cradling the body of his late wife) within the space of a few short minutes. All and all, it was a heart pounding hour with a gut wrenching climax.

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS – “The Death and Funeral of Colleen Carlton” (tie)

It’s nearly impossible to single out one episode of a daytime drama since even the those featuring an event like a wedding or a birth or a death often feature other plots working on various levels, some just beginning, some wrapping up. I’ll admit that Y&R had better years, but two interconnected hours stand out. First, in what was almost a standalone episode, we saw Colleen Carlton drowned after her final heroic act, trying to save the life of her injured kidnapper. Friends, family, and former lovers appeared to the girl, telling her not to be afraid, but during those last moments underwater when her deceased father, Brad, beckoned her to the light, the room got mighty dusty. Colleen’s death set in motion storyline for years to come: the gift of her harvested heart to her family’s hated rival, Victor Newman, who inadvertently caused the young woman’s demise. But her memorial service, arranged as a celebration of her life by her bereaved Uncle Billy, saw most of Genoa City come together to praise a life cut short. The final shot, the guests releasing balloons while Colleen’s mother sang a gentle lullaby, would melt the iciest heart. Colleen’s final portrayer, actress Tammin Sursok, was not as appreciated or well-utilized as her predecessors, Lyndsy Fonseca and Adrianne Leon, but Colleen’s death and the communal mourning that followed paid tribute to a core character likely gone forever.

COMMUNITY – “Environmental Science”

It took me awhile to warm up to this freshman show. Hot shot lawyer Jeff having to enroll in his local community college because of a fraudulent BA didn’t completely wash. But after getting past this setup, viewers were treated to the burgeoning friendships of a misfit Spanish study group, notably Alison Brie’s uptight Annie and Danny Pudi’s pop culture savant Abed. “Environmental Science” saw Jeff make a deal with the devil of sorts: befriend the tyrannical Senor Chang in an effort to pass the afore-mentioned Spanish class. Ultimately, to get back into the good graces of his amigos and rid himself of the increasingly clingy Chang, Jeff arranges for the estranged Senora Chang to attend a performance by Celtic group Greene Daeye (not to be confused with), and while the band plays on, the Changs reunite on the dance floor, fellow Spanish student Shirley triumphs in her marketing class (with moral support from Chevy Chase’s Pierce), and Abed and lab partner/best friend Troy coax lab rat Fievel out of hiding while singing “Somewhere Out There.” A funny yet moving sequence, it ultimately sold me on the show as a whole.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM – “The Table Read” and “Seinfeld” (tie)

This was not the strongest season for Larry David’s examination of bad manners among Hollywood types. However, it was arguably the most hyped with the promise of all members from the iconic Seinfeld quartet appearing for a mock reunion within the Curb universe. Those episodes that featured Jerry, Jason, Julia, and Michael tangling with the co-creator who only dragged them together in a scheme to win back former wife and now aspiring actress Cheryl featured the season’s best moments, especially in the final two installments. “The Table Read” is most notable for the titular event which truly felt like a brand new Seinfeld episode as well as Jason Alexander’s inventive and repulsive uses for Larry’s pen. But nothing topped the confrontation between Michael Richards and J.B. Smoove’s Leon, an uncomfortably hysterical sequence of mistaken identity where David allowed Richards to atone for his past racist tirade by turning the joke on the man who will forever be Kramer. The final episode, featuring Jason Alexander’s pretentious book on the craft of acting, makes the list simply for the sequence of Larry David playing Jason Alexander playing George, a mind boggling few minutes of meta comedy. Plus, Larry gets the girl in the end. David and Seinfeld are arguably the only writers who got to conclude a landmark television show twice, the way they wanted and the way the viewers wanted. Pretty, pretty, pretty, good!

IN TREATMENT – “Walter: Week Six” and Oliver: Week Seven” (tie)

The sophomore series of this highly addictive actors’ master class featured any number of stellar episodes. While the sessions of career driven Mia and in-denial cancer patient April received most of the kudos, I was more partial to those half hours focusing on crumbling CEO Walter and unloved soon-to-be child of divorce Oliver. Walter’s strongest moment came in his penultimate episode. John Mahoney, so long associated with the affable Martin on Frasier, shed that skin for Walter’s suits and long repressed feelings of guilt. Now, following a suicide attempt, he broke down like a baby and clung to his therapist, Paul, for fear he might fall off the face of the earth. It was all the more rewarding to hear him agree to continue therapy in his final episode. Oliver’s ending was less uplifting as his unbelievably selfish mother prepares to move him from the only home he’s ever known to forward her ambitions, and his equally self-absorbed father does nothing to intervene. Yet Paul gives Oliver a slim reed to hang on to with the promise that while their sessions are ending, Oliver can call Paul whenever he needs to talk. What follows is a test run: Paul dialing Oliver’s cell from the other end of his office. Reluctant at first, Oliver gradually gets into the spirit of the thing and tells Paul what he imagines his new life will be like, problems and all. Oliver’s fate is uncertain, but Paul’s commitment to the boy, the only adult with Oliver’s best interests at heart, is without question.

SCRUBS – “My Finale”

I have mixed feeling about the reincarnation of this wonderful show (is it a spinoff? a continuation? a dream sequence?). But those doubts aside, Scrubs Original Recipe came to a sweet, satisfying conclusion. Most every loose end was tied up (although I’m pretty sure we still didn’t learn the Janitor’s name), but there are two indelible images from John Dorian’s last day at Sacred Heart. As J.D. exited the hospital, nearly every patient, co-worker, former lover, and friend from his tenure lined the hallway to send him off. Also, a hopeful fantasy sequence where J.D. watched what he hoped his life would be in grainy footage projected on a blank wall: marrying Elliot, sharing Christmases with Turk/Carla, Cox/Jordan, and their respective children. And while the tears flowed, who didn’t crack up at J.D.’s imagined delight of the overwhelming joy he and Turk would feel should their children grow up and decide to wed, the ultimate reward for their bromance. From the beginning, Scrubs blended the absurd with the possible, and as J.D. walked into the night, both he and the viewers felt confident about his future.

MODERN FAMILY – “Coal Digger”

Unlike Community, this show had me from the pilot, Arrested Development crossed with The Office plus heartwarming final voiceovers (usually courtesy of Ed O’Neill’s patriarch Jay) that are never saccharine. I’m going with “Coal Digger” because, for most of the episode, it promises on what was only hinted at in the closing moments of the pilot: the entire clan trying to survive an evening together under one roof to watch a football game (who would’ve known that gay son Mitchell’s flamboyant partner, Cameron, was such a sports’ nut; he even dresses their adopted baby as a referee, which Mitchell mistakes for the Hamburglar). There’s already tension in the air because of a scuffle between Jay’s new stepson, Manny, and Manny’s “nephew,” Luke, but that’s nothing compared to the discovery that a remark by Luke’s mother, Claire, started the fight. Seems she thinks Jay’s bombshell Colombian bride, Gloria, is nothing but a “coal digger” (at least that’s the way Luke heard it). While Claire’s clueless, but well-meaning husband, Phil, tries to broker peace between his “two girls,” Jay grapples with insecurities about his physical appearance. Watching him confide in Cameron and Mitchell that he’s no “Erik Estrada,” but asking if they would still check him out if he were “in one of their clubs and the Righteous Brothers came on” is only topped by Cameron’s admission that Jay is totally his type, much to Mitchell’s horror. Awkward conversations give way to forgiveness, and the tag of Cameron and Jay sharing tips on snapping a football (and Mitchell telling Claire he’s never eating again) drives home the point that while loving, this family is far from functional.

MAD MEN – “My Old Kentucky Home”

Looking back at Season Three, most viewers would go with the unfortunate fate of Guy Mackendrick or the Ocean’s Eleven style season finale, but I’ll go against the grain and select the third episode from a stellar third season. Roger and Jane Sterling’s Kentucky Derby party introduced two men who would play key roles as the season unfolded: enigmatic Connie, later revealed as megalomaniac Conrad Hilton whose need for control would place a noose around Don Draper’s neck until the final episode, and charming Henry Francis who would ultimately lead Betty Draper out of her loveless marriage by filling the void left by her soon-to-be deceased father. Other threads also began in this episode: Roger realizing he’d gotten a child instead of a partner via his marriage to Jane, Joan starting to understand that not only had she married her rapist but as inept a medical professional as ever wielded a scalpel, Peggy grabbing what she wants as a woman and as a professional, and Pete and Trudy ever more in sync, demonstrated by an expertly choreographed Charleston. With the exception of the tragic Sal Romano, every character and plot arc to come is subtly set into motion in this episode, and upon the conclusion of the season, one must admire how skillfully the table was set without the writers tipping their hands too soon. And any episode that features the line, “I’m Peggy Olson and I want to smoke some marijuana,” deserves a shout out.

THE OFFICE – “Niagara”

One of the most anticipated television events of the year did not disappoint. Jim and Pam’s nuptials were everything a fan could have hoped for. Opening with a projectile vomit bit (pregnant Pam’s regurgitation sets off a chain reaction) and closing with a contented Jim smiling at the camera over his bride’s shoulder, every second was classic Office, one part cringe inducing, one part hilarious, and one part poignant. Whether it was Jim inadvertently letting the cat out of the bag at the rehearsal dinner that Pam was with child (to the horror of Pam’s conservative grandmother) or Andy tearing his scrotum while trying to impress crush Erin with his dance moves or the final sequence of Jim and Pam exchanging vows under the falls intercut with their office-mates dancing down the aisle a la one of 2009’s most memorable viral clips, everything clicked. And I’m of the mind that while Jim bought those tickets the “day I saw that You Tube clip” in order to give Pam the wedding of her dreams, part of him also knew that the co-workers he grudgingly respects would also want their moment in the sun. Jim’s the classic god guy, and in this episode the good guy (and everyone in his orbit) won.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA – “Daybreak”

I could have included any episode from BSG 4.5 on this list (with the possible exception of “Deadlock”), but I’m going with the divisive finale. When The Sopranos famously cut to black, part of me was unsatisfied (although after re-watching the finale and the enitre series, it is a perfect ending, albeit on an intellectual level). BSG took the opposite route. From the opening flashbacks “before the fall” (especially Roslin losing her entire family to a drunk driver), this was an affair for the heart and soul. Every human emotion was tapped before the colonial fleet finally reached what they would call Earth. But before that momentous event, we saw the ailing Roslin bid what she thought would be farewell to a speechless Doc Cottle, Apollo and Baltar calling each other out for their respective self-absorptions (the former’s wrapped up in Starbuck, the latter’s in himself), and a tense brig confrontation between a devastated Helo and a bitter Tyrol (Helo still had Athena if not Hera, but the Chief was now a shell of a Cylon). When the Old Man resolved to rescue the missing child, the sight of Roslin, barely able to walk, cross the line to be with her new family, turned something in Gaius Baltar. The second hour saw the overgrown child with too many appetites, unconsciously responsible for the fate of the Twelve Colonies, become a man to the delight of Caprica Six. The attack on the Colony was nothing short of awesome, whether it was the sickbay barreling into the Cylon stronghold or a horde of Centurions now on the humans’ side. The ill-fated Boomer, who lost the life Athena ultimately got, finally made a choice, no longer manipulated by her programming or Cavil, and returned Hera to her rightful mother before meeting a violent end. The race back to Galactica, complete with the jaw dropping sight of the Final Five a la opera house visions in the CIC was only the first taste of a sequence where most would forget to breathe: Baltar’s sermon, a shaky truce, Tyrol’s realization that Tory murdered his wife and his subsequent strangulation of the killer, Cavil’s suicide, and Kara’s final jump of the ship was enough for ten series’ finales. Then, the BSG team dialed it back and treated viewers to a pastoral planet where our heroes could truly, finally lay down their burdens (I confess; I always suspected they were in the past). Next came the waterworks: Kara dropping her dog tags into Sam’s hybrid bath, the entire fleet flying into the sun, Starbuck and Apollo saying goodbye to their shared father figure before the former vanished into thin air, Adama and Roslin’s “wedding” while in flight, Baltar’s tearful admission to Caprica that he “knows about farming,” and finally Adama laying out the cabin in his mind while watching over his lost love’s grave. Even the tag set in our present worked as an ironic reminder that the master can become the servant in terms of technology. Having watched this episode numerous times, I’ll admit that a few factors don’t add up (and I’m not talking about the Hand of God, the actual deus ex machina, since that was in motion from Season One). Who or what the resurrected Starbuck was is somewhat unclear. Why Lee would never see his father again was vague. And while always an Athena/Helo shipper, had their happy ending been denied and Gaius and Caprica were left to raise Hera, some of the prophecies from Season Two might have made more sense. But that first Friday night, I had no such quibbles, so in awe and awash in tears at expertly choreographed action sequences combined with an array of moving character beats. Every performance (especially those of Mary McDonnell, James Callis, and Grace Park) was transcendent, Ronald Moore’s dialogue pure poetry. Nothing will ever match the experience of that first viewing or discovering the plot twists in the series as the whole. But there are enough compelling characters and relationships to return to BSG again and again in the years to come. So say we all.